


Let's Get Better, Together

by TrainerBlack



Category: Pocket Monsters: Black & White | Pokemon Black and White Versions
Genre: ADHD Touya, Autistic N, Autistic Touya, BPD N, BPD Touya, Check Authors Notes for Content and Trigger Warnings, Intrusive Thoughts, M/M, Nonverbal Touya, Other, Schizophrenic Touya, Socially Anxious Touya, Trans Male Character, Trans Touya
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-04-28
Updated: 2015-05-03
Packaged: 2018-03-26 04:32:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 10,372
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3837241
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TrainerBlack/pseuds/TrainerBlack
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Black is mentally ill, trans, and gay for N. N is also mentally ill, but cis. They work together to get better, get over trauma, be happy and end up falling in love in the process.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Introduction

**Author's Note:**

> [ Content Warnings: Hallucinations, intrusive thoughts, therapy mentions. ]  
> [ Trigger Warnings: None. ]  
> [ Notes: This is my first fanfiction I've written in a while. If you are going to critique me, please be gentle about it. ]

        It was a mild autumn evening, and the sun was not close to setting but not too high up in the sky for it to be bright out. The breeze was picking up a little, enough to scatter the stray colourful leaves. It was nice weather, not cold enough for a hat, gloves, and scarf, but not too cool to go without a jacket.  
        With a sigh, Trainer Black sat down, feeling his bones creak. His spine complained at the position he was in, so he slouched a little to appease it. His back felt somewhat better after shifting about an inch to the right. The kind of positions scoliosis puts you in can be funny at times, albeit embarrassing. He had always hated his spine, wearing jackets and baggy shirts to hide it and to hide other things.

        His thoughts wandered over to the therapist appointment he had coming up. He sighed softly. They never listen to him, although it is a form of attention, and a place to get away and relax. He grimaced at the intrusive thought that comes next. _What if I slapped my therapist? Wait, why would I do that? Oh god damn it._ He mentally yelled at his own intrusive thoughts, as if they would stop.  
        He wondered what N thought of being mentally ill and he also wondered if N could tell he was mentally ill. He pondered it, trying to think of symptoms he might have displayed around N. _Rocking back and forth? Stimming? Hmm._ He thought to himself. He knew he was clingy, that’s for sure. His borderline disordered personality made having meaningful relationships hard. His mind went to N again, mainly thinking about their relationship.

        N was walking down the park pathway, stealthily quiet. Black didn’t even notice until N sat down next to him on the bench, to which Black jumped and almost threw his phone in surprise.

        “Did I startle you?” He asked, cocking his head to the side, his hand covering a smug smirk.

        Black hastily unlocked his phone, typing a reply; “A little.”

        N laughed a little, shaking his head slowly. “Isn't the weather nice?”

        Black nodded, resettling himself in his somewhat awkward looking position. The two looked very different, one slouching with shortish brown hair and bags under his eyes, the other sitting up straight with long mint green hair, looking rather radiant. Black hoped N didn't notice he was slouching.  
        After a bit, N asked “What have you been doing lately?”

        Black began writing up his reply, rubbing his sleeve idly as he then handed the phone to N. The answer said; “I have a therapist appointment soon, so I’m trying to relax here before then. What about you?”

        N stared off into space for a moment, trying to think of what he has been doing lately, and he shrugged. “Not much, I suppose…”  
        The two had fallen quiet again.  Black keeps periodically catching himself staring at N, trying to ignore his intrusive thoughts. Black tried not to flinch at the random hand grabbing his ankle, very well knowing it was a hallucination. The hand itself was very rough and scaly. He tapped the bench rhythmically, looking around and trying to avoid the thing around his ankle.  
        N tilted his head slightly to the right. “Is something wrong?” he asked, oblivious to what Black was experiencing. Black shifted his gaze to the left, staring at a leaf blowing about.

        “Nothing.” He muttered, his voice sounding raspy. He hadn't talked in a week.

        “You seem tense.” N stated, leaned back against the bench they sat on.

        “I’m fine.” Black said, while refusing to even look anywhere near N just in case there’s more hallucinations. He clasped his hands together, his back groaning with pain.

        “Look at me.” N said softly, leaning towards the other male. Black started to sit up a bit, telling himself that looking at N is fine. His eyes flickered up and he caught himself just staring at N. “What is wrong?” N asked again.

        “I-I’ll tell you tomorrow.” He stuttered, nearly skipping an entire word. Speaking is hard enough. It is especially hard when you are making eye contact and having to tell someone something new.

        N raised a single eyebrow as he studied him. His hands instinctively went to pop his knuckles out of nervousness. He was stuck staring at the tree man. “U-Uh... You should get going… It’s getting dark...” He mumbled while he looked away. Speaking was very difficult, and he was surprised he could do it today.

        N nodded. “I suppose it is. I will see you tomorrow.” He stated as he stood up and fixed his hair. He then patted Black’s head. Black could only stare as he walked away.


	2. Chapter 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Black tells N what was wrong.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [ Content Warnings: Medication mentions, Description of a panic attack, PDA warning, Sleep warning ]  
> [ Trigger Warnings: Trauma mentions, Illness mentions, Food mention near the end ]  
> [ Notes: I will be writing longer chapters soon, my ADHD makes it hard to concentrate. ]

      Black slumped on the bench, his palm pressed against his forehead. The therapy was supposed to help him, not stress him out even more. That and the situation with N didn’t help. He was jiggling his leg, trying keep himself grounded. His ears were ringing and it was getting hard to breathe. _Fuck you scoliosis. Fuck you shitty pain medicine_. He thought to himself, grimacing. He stretched back, his jacket riding up on his stomach. He quickly went back down, slightly worried someone might’ve seen him.

      He started shifting somewhat, pulling his jacket back down and rolling his shoulders a little. His body ached just from a therapist appointment. He looked at the time, and then looked around. Before N was in sight, he began writing what he had mentally and explaining it somewhat, his heart thumping painfully loud. He hoped N didn’t patronize, infantilize or reject him.  
      N walked up to him, his arms crossed. He slowly sat down next to Black, a little closer than before. Black was still nervously typing, fidgeting slightly with his keychain.  He saved the file, with a keysmash of letters set as the file’s name, and opened a new one, patiently waiting for N to speak.

      “So… What was wrong?” N asked as he turned to look at Black. He was kind of blunt sometimes. Black opened the document, and handed N the phone with a shaky hand. He waited patiently as he watched N’s slender hands hold his phone, navigating it with long smooth flicks of a finger. His eyes flickered up to his face, watching him. His expression was neutral, his eyebrows moving only a fraction when thinking. After a while, N slowly handed his phone back to him.  “Can you tell me more? How come you are like this?” he asked.  
      Black froze up, eyes wide. One, two, three seconds passed and then his chest felt tight. He held his stomach, unable to think. His throat felt constricted and it was hard to breathe. _No no no no..._ His thoughts raced as he was stared at nothing. He was feeling a twinge of guilt for losing it so quickly in front of N, but it can’t be helped.  
      “Black…? Is it okay if I touch you?” N asked. His voice sounded soft. Black very slowly nodded, unable to really think or process anything. N slowly scooted over, and wrapped an arm around Black’s shoulder. “You’re okay, nobody will hurt you.” He said, slowly rubbing his back. Black’s face was being buried into his sleeves, trying to stifle the tears. N slowly turned Black towards him. He held him and petted him as he tried to calm him down. “You’re okay, you are safe.”

      Black could only cry, his face buried into N’s shoulder. They have known each other for a year now, although this was the first time they were physically close to each other. Of course, N didn’t know why Black was crying. He was very secretive, and bringing up the past was never good for him. Black finally began to slowly wrap his arms around N shakily, relaxing on him. N just petted him slowly, and removed Black’s cap, which was already falling off, and set it down gently.  
      Black was a little embarrassed. N played with Black’s hair idly, while Black just kind of leaned on him. The position was awkward, but it felt nice. He didn’t usually let people touch him, for a long list of reasons. He felt himself drifting off, and could care less. He trusted N, judging on how he reacted to the mental fiesta he has going on, and how he just now reacted and responded to his panic attack. Black shakily took in a deep, slow breath, feeling the world slide as he was dozin off.

      N watched him fall asleep, with a soft smile. N picked up the sleeping male who was next to him, and held him on his lap. He didn’t mind holding him for a while. It’s not like he’s busy or anything. Black curled up to him, hair messed up and sticking out everywhere. N brushed a stray hair away from his face, frowning a bit. He wondered how Black lived with all of those mental things. Black looked peaceful, instead of the usual uncomfortable, stressed out, unhappy, and expressionless faces he always wore.  
      It was getting dark. N stood up slowly, Black held firmly against him. He didn’t know where Black lived, so he just decided to take Black home with him.  He held him closer, as he felt something weird and light in his chest. It worried him. Was he sick? He decided to just look it up later to save himself the worry and stress.

      He opened the front door, and turned the lights on. He lived alone, so nobody greeted him. He shut the door behind him with his foot, his balance kept perfectly, and then opened his bedroom door. The walls were a pastel green, and the carpet was a dark dull green. His bed was rather large, a king sized one, as he tended to roll off of beds in his sleep. It was a little bothersome, but he was never severely injured by it. The walls had paintings of nature on them, and there was a chestnut end table on both sides of the bed, each with a lamp and picture frames.  
      He held Black in one arm, and moved the covers aside with his now free hand, and then he laid Black down slowly. He paused, and slowly took his shoes off. He remembered Black mentioning sleeping with shoes on was horrible, ‘sensory hell’ as he called it. He shimmied Black’s jacket off of him, and noticed how he slept like a log, not even twitching. He picked up both the jacket and his shoes, folded the jacket and then set his shoes on top of it.

      He pulled the blanket over him, and paused before leaving. There was a random thought. _Kiss him._ He didn’t know why, but the thought just… appeared. He decided to just do it, his lips pressed against his cheek gently and then hurriedly left the room, the door closed slowly. He was taking his cap off, setting it down on his coffee table, and then sitting down on the couch. He pulled his white shirt off, the black undershirt left on as he had no need to be shirtless. He pressed a knuckle to his lips, and felt how chapped they are as he pondered that one weird thought.  
      He remembered reading about Black’s intrusive thoughts, and wondered if this thing he experienced is also an intrusive thought? He thought about the weird sensation in his chest he felt earlier. _What was that_? He wondered as he pulled out his laptop and set it on his lap, and finally decided to Google it. He typed “What is this weird feeling in my chest”. He clicked search, and scrolled through the results. He frowned. That can’t be right. He sighed as he shut his laptop, having forgotten the odd possible intrusive thought.

      He looked at the time, and he had about 4 hours until bedtime. He decided to clean up the house a little, and picked up trash, swept, mopped, wiped down surfaces, and etc. Two hours later, and the house was clean. He paused, and wondered about what he should do next. He could shower, although he could also make food just in case Black wakes up. He decided to shower, since Black was out like a light.


	3. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Black stays at N's house for a while, before N has to leave for 3 days.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [ Content Warnings: Nudity mentions ( nothing graphic ), Nightmares mention, Dreams mention ]  
> [ Trigger Warnings: Beverages, Food, Unsafe Binding, Violence mention, Intrusive Thoughts, Coming out as Trans? ]  
> [ Notes: If anyone wants to see something later on, just ask! ]

        N sighed softly as he stood in the shower. His hair splayed across his bare flushed skin, the only movement he made was the rise and fall of his chest as he breathed. He stared at the wall, lost in thought. He wanted to know more about Black. He didn’t know why he wanted to though. He folded his arms across his chest, as he had felt vulnerable. Before he even had the chance to be upset, he instead washed his hair and body, and used a shampoo that smelled like cherries.    
        After he rinsed off, he turned the faucet off and stepped out of the shower. He grabbed a towel, and sat on the floor in a small ball. He was sitting there for a while, green tufts of hair sticking out in every angle possible, thinking about Black. He was so mysterious, and he wanted to know more about him, but how? He just stared at the wall for a while again, and after that while passed, he realized he was dry and ready to get dressed.

        With a small huff, he stood up, making sure the towel wrapped around him stayed in place. He looked around for his clothes, finding them placed on the counter. A light green pajama shirt, with matching pants, and black boxers were sitting there. He looked in the mirror, examining his reflection. He had bright, clear blue eyes, long fluffy wavy hair, and a perfect posture. He looked tired as well, and frowned at that. He let the towel slip to the floor, and it landed in a lump. He slid on his boxers and made some poses in the mirror, smirking at himself. 2 seconds later there was a harsh knock on the bathroom door, and N yelped with surprise. “Who is it?!” He squeaked and hurried to get dressed.  
        Black cleared his throat, and tried to say something but ended up with a croak. Good job. N sighed with relief, pulling his shirt on and opening the door. “Do you need something?” N asked as he ran a hand through his long flowing hair.

        Black cleared his throat again, and mumbled “I had a nightmare…” He looked tired, and Black yawned, his head hung. N put a knuckle to his chin, thinking. He could share his bed with Black, although he wasn’t sure if Black was comfortable with it. He tapped his chin three times, slowly, and tried to think of what to do.  
        “Do you want some chamomile tea? It can help you fall back asleep.” He asked, and then smiled. “I am also not opposed to sharing my bed with you.” Black didn’t immediately process what he said, waiting for it to kick in. Five seconds later, Black nodded.

        “Tea sounds nice.” Black said quietly while he rubbed his hands nervously. N watched him, wondering why he was always so quiet. Was it the mental illness thing? He didn’t mind the quiet, he was just curious. Black winced, a sharp pain going through his ribs. N looked slightly concerned.  
        “Is something wrong?” He asked, touching Black’s shoulder. Black just shook his head, using a hand to gesture him out of the bathroom. N nodded, and moved past him, and tossed his dirty clothing into the laundry basket.

        Black pulled his shirt off, and then his binder. It hurt so badly, his ribs ached and he really should not have worn it so tightly. He choked up, and his eyes watered. It had been a while since it was this bad. He slumped to the floor, on his hand and knees. After he took a slow, painful breath, he coughed a little, cringing. He took about five minutes to regain his composure, and then he slowly stood up. He turned, to look at this back. It, as per usual, was uneven and generally unsightly due to his scoliosis. He wouldn’t let that stop him though. He looked at his binder, frowned, and then moved to slip it back on. He can’t let N know.

        N knocked on the door. “Are you doing alright in there?” he asked. Speak of the devil. _Just tell him, tell N you’re transgender._ He stared at the ground, and mulled over the intrusive thought. _He’ll beat the shit out of you for it._ He winced at that. He was sure N wouldn’t do that though. Black pulled his binder on, and made it a bit looser. He then pulled his shirt on, and slowly opened the door. N tilted his head. The action was something a puppy would do.

        “N.” He said firmly, as he stared at him in the eye. He felt his emotions slip away, his clenched fists soon became relaxed. N looked a little surprised, his beautiful blue eyes widened with surprise. Black’s gaze pierced into N’s, and N looked away for a moment.  
        “Yes?” He asked, looking at him. He straightened up, a little concerned about the lack of expression on Black’s face.  
        “N, I’m trans.” The words slipped out of his mouth smoothly. Black blinked, waiting for N to react. Some time passed as N processed it, and then N smiled.  
        “You are? I didn’t notice. Should I keep calling you he and him?” He asked. Black looked surprised, and felt his face burn as it heated up with emotion. He nodded quickly, a wave of reassurance washing over him. Tears were on the brink of falling, and ended up crying again. N slowly hugged him, and patted his back. “Thank you for telling me.” He said while he petted his hair, as the other cried on his shoulder. N held him closer, and hesitated before he placed a gentle kiss in his hair. N swept him off his feet, and Black didn’t really complain, curled up to him. He had stopped crying after a little while, and yawned again.

        N laid Black down, and turned to leave. That’s when he felt Black grab his hand. He turned to look at Black, who was grinning. “Thank you.” He whispered, clearly sleepy. He cuddled N’s hand, and N smiled softly. He removed his hand but only for a moment. He climbed into bed, lying on his side. Black held his hand and pressed it against his face. They both fell asleep, their breathing steady and calm.  
        N rolled off the bed with a thump. Black jumped up, and clutched the sheets. N sat up and felt groggy, his hair plastered up one side and down the other. Black looked over and started to giggle. N looked at him, and rubbed his eyes. “What the… Oh, Black.” Black smiled at him, still sleepy. H wakes up faster than most thankfully. “Good morning. Did you sleep well?” N asked. Black nodded as he stretched and flopped over.

        N got up to make breakfast, humming as he tied an apron around his hips. “Do you want eggs, Black?” he asked.  
        “No thanks.” He answered, his voice finally warmed up. N found himself thinking about Black. His eyebrows furrowed slightly, his chest feeling weird again. He ignored it, and continued cooking, and hummed as he did so. Black was watching N, smiling to himself. _N is pretty cute… No wait._ He froze and caught himself. _Cough now if you can read minds_. He thought to himself. After he waited for five minutes in anticipation, there was no cough, and he sighed with relief.

        N looked at him, puzzled. He mentally shrugged it off. N served Black his food, and then served himself. He made a mental note to do the dishes later, after he took Black home. He was shrugging on a jacket and looking at Black who was staring off into space. He softened a little bit. “Black, I’m going to take you home now.” He stated, and stared at him. Black idly nodded while he stood up and then went over to N. N led him to the door, and opened it for him. Once Black stepped out, N shut the door gently.  
        Black felt blank. This always happened after he has a dream. He never remembers the dreams in detail, but he knows he has them. N looked at him carefully, trying to find a trace of emotion. Granted, he isn’t good at figuring out what others were feeling. They quietly walked back to the park, not saying a word.

        Upon arriving at the bench where they met up before, N gave him a smile. “I’ll see you in about three days. Meet me here, or at my house, okay?” Black nodded, while his face was still expressionless. N paused, and looked away for a moment. He closed his eyes, and wrapped his arms around Black. “Call me if you need me.” He muttered softly. He pulled away from Black who now looked confused.


	4. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Black is surprised and confused.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [ Content Warnings: Cats, Hallucinations, Food mentions ]  
> [ Trigger Warnings: Chronophobia, Agoraphobia, PDA, Sleep, Dreams ]  
> [ Notes: N is for Nerd. ]

        _He hugged me?_ He thought to himself. His eyes were wide with surprise. He finally nodded, and watched N walk away. He waited until N was out of site, and then left for home. He began trying to breathe calmly, walking home anxiously. He had a tendency to pace whenever he was anxious, stressed or even just worried.  
        He slowly walked into his home, and sighed with relief. His cats meowed at him, and he meowed back. He made sure to avoid looking at that one corner. The corner which has the shadows that move. He sighed as he picked up his home a little as he walked through. His phone rang and he cringed. That was way too loud. He checked the caller id. It simply said N. He was confused, but answered it anyways.

        “Hello?” N began speaking, sounding rather formal.  
        “Hello N. Do you need something?” You ask, going off of how you practiced conversations. Next, N will ask for something and you will probably give it to him. Then N will thank you and hang up.  
        “Did you make it home okay?” N asked. He sounded more relaxed now that he’s heard you. You are very surprised. You were not expecting this.  
        “Yes, why do you ask?” You reply and trip over your words. You feel embarrassed. N is most likely used to making phone calls and such. You always avoid phone calls at all costs.  
        “I just wanted to know.” He replied smoothly. N was twiddling a pencil, leaning on his desk. He was looking out the window, listening to Black talk about his therapy and such. _He has a nice voice.. How can anyone hate him? I wonder what happened to him… Did someone hurt him?_ He wondered, as he idly listened to Black talk about his cats.  
        “Anyways... What are you up to, N?” Black asked, and N noted he sounded a little more relaxed. He wasn’t stuttering as much, slowly warming up to speech.  
        N was brought out of his daze. “Oh, I’m going to the next town over for a couple of days to get some stuff.” He answered nonchalantly.  
        “Ah. I need to go feed my cats. You can text me, if you want.” He said, biting his lip.  
        “Goodbye, Black. Take care.” N said quietly as he ended the call. He sighed softly, his gaze locked on the phone. He didn’t know what to do. He set out for the next town, and thought about what to get for Black. Maybe a teddy bear? He chuckled to himself.

        Black was staring at the wall for about an hour until he realized he was staring at a wall. He checked his texts. Nothing. He began sighing softly, setting his phone on his desk and dragging himself to his room. He slumped onto the bed.  
        He stared at the ceiling. _Time passes so slowly… or does it? Time is relative…_ He thought to himself. He thought about N some more and remembered how his hair moved and the flick of his wrists as he gestured to what he was talking about. He was falling in love. _Fuck._

        N spent the first day shopping for Pokémon supplies, of course. He made sure to stock up, since trips to the city were exhausting. He smiled and waved at passerby, aiming to cheer everyone up. He kept forgetting to text Black until he got to the hotel. _Oops.  
_         N texted him with a simple ‘Hello! ☺’, as he laid on his stomach. He was twiddling his thumbs, waiting for his phone to buzz with the notification that he was being texted back. He was exhausted, and hoped that talking to Black might give him some energy for tomorrow. The hotel room was nice, although it really wasn’t his style. He preferred simple clean rooms, and the hotel room was complicated and fancy.

        Black checked his phone for texts. He proceeded to giggle at the smiley face N used, and rolled his eyes. He replied with ‘Hey, what’s up?’. The two continued talking, which was much easier via text. N revealed his birthday was July 10th, he likes Zorua a little more than all the other Pokémon, and he likes pop music. Black talked about his hallucinations, and info dumped about how CDs were made. N thought it was pretty cute, as he listened Black talk and talk about CDs.  
        N dozed off before he could say goodnight, which left Black to worry. Black also dozed off, his phone held close to him as he slept. The night went on peacefully, Black surprisingly getting a full night’s sleep while N was tossing and turning. Black didn’t dream of anything, while N had many vivid dreams about travelling the world.

        N was woken up with sunlight in his face, his eyes tightly shut as he sat up. For a moment, he thought he was in his room, in his home, but he wasn’t. He looked a little disappointed, and got out of bed to change clothes. Today he was going to get Black a teddy bear and maybe some cute clothes for him. He stretched and felt much better after all of that walking he did.  His muscles strained and then relaxed, a slight ache settling into them. He was rummaging around for his clothes, forgetting where he had put them.  
        An hour later he found his clothing, and then remembered to check his phone. He was slightly alarmed to see 5 notifications of texts from Black. He read each message and sighed with relief. It was just Black rambling until he fell asleep. He swallowed thickly at the thought of Black getting hurt. He shook his head to clear his thoughts. He slipped on a clean t-shirt and pants, followed by socks and shoes. Black said his favourite colours were purple, black, and blue. Black also said he was becoming fond of green, with a happy emoticon. N wondered what he meant by that.

        Black woke up, disoriented. “Whuh…” He tried speaking, but it was garbled. He sat up, and rubbed his eyes. He squinted, and then realized he was awake and in his own room. He groaned and decided to sleep more. Nobody was there to give him attention.  
        N texted him many times, and desperately tried not to send another but his worry got a hold of him. He tried shaking off the worry, but it didn’t work. He sighed softly, and noticed a small keychain. It had a cat on it. The cat’s body was black, and the cat’s eyes were green and blue. It was simple and cute. He purchased it and put it in his bags, and then went to the clothes center. He had noticed that he wore a size medium jacket, and had no idea about his pants size. He sighed and called Black.

        Black had nearly fallen off the bed, startled by the loud phone ringing in his ear. He clambered back in bed and picked up the phone after he checked to see who was calling. It was N?

        “Hello?” Black said, sounding groggy. N laughed a little bit. _Was Black asleep?  
_         “Hello Black. What size are your pants?” He asked as he tried not to giggle. He looked at the time while Black was thinking about it.   
        “….28 in men’s sizing? 29? Something like that… Why?” Black questioned, and then tiredly yawned. He was still half asleep, just barely awake enough to reply to N.  
        “Were you sleeping?” N asked, not bothering to hide the amusement in his voice. He found Black to be cute sometimes.  
        “M-maybe…” Black mumbled as he pulled his blankets over his head. “Why?”  
        “You are cute.” N chuckled and shifted his weight after standing there for so long.  
        “O-Oh, uh… Th-thank you.” Black said softly. “I’m going back to sleep now. Bye bye.”  
        “Bye bye, I love you.” N said as he hung up. _Wait. Oh shit._ He texted Black a quick apology and shoved his phone in his pocket.


	5. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> N is a nerd who spoils Black.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [ Content Warnings: Sleep, Kissing, Nightmares, DRDP slightly ]   
> [ Trigger Warnings:   
> — For the nightmare; Impalement, Stabbing, Blood, Sharp Objects ( Swords )  
> — After the nightmare: PDA, Kissing ]  
> [ Notes: So far so gay. ]

        He decided to distract himself with finding a nice outfit for Black. He found a sweater vest, a baby purple long sleeved shirt, and black pants for him. He also got him spinning rings and a locket with a small mirror and a space for a picture. He purchased everything, tucking the neatly folded receipt into his pocket, and putting the stuff into their respective bags. He also bought himself new clothes, since his wardrobe needed it badly.  
        Black was sound asleep, sprawled across the bed. He would definitely sleep throughout the day. He either slept a lot, or never slept. There was no in between when it came to sleep. This time, he had nightmares. _He was standing in a field, N across from him. They were 30 feet apart. There was someone towering over N, standing right behind him and holding a sword. Black panicked and darted, shoving N out of the way.  
__Time slowed down… He could feel the sword pierce his chest, going all the way through, and all he could see was N reaching for him, blood spurting from his chest. He felt himself smile despite the tremendous amount of pain. Then everything went white._

        He woke up in tears, his eyes wide. His phone woke up him, and he answered without thinking. “H- _hic_ -Hel-llo?” He stuttered out, shaking. He had no idea who he was talking to. He took a deep breath as he heard the person on the other end began to speak.  
        “Black? Are you okay?” N asked, his brows furrowing together with worry.  
        “M-mmhm, just a nightmare…” He mumbled. He paused for a second. “N…?” He asked.  
        “Yes?” He replied, ready to answer his question.  
        “N… Where are you right now?” He asked, his voice returning to normal.  
        “I am at my house.” He said quizzically. Black smiled.  
        “I’ll be there in 5 minutes.” He grinned. N made a confused sound.  
        “But it takes 20 minutes to walk...” N said quietly. He heard a door shut and then he realized. The phone call ended abruptly, and N hurried around to clean up his home and hide his gifts.  
  
        Black was running, leaping down stairs and dashing through the park. He was manic. This was good. He lept straight over the see-saw, ducking and turning on a dime. He came to an abrupt stop at N’s door, panting and knocking.  
        N answered the door, looking shocked. “Black?” He asked, his eyes wide with disbelief. “Do come inside, you need to rest.” Black nodded and stepped inside, sitting on one end of the couch. N sat near him, giving him about 6 inches of room. Black turned to look at him, his pupils large. His face flushed redder, and he moved his whole body to face him.  
  
        “…Yes, Black?” N asked, tilting his head. He was very confused.  
        “N. Look at me.” He said firmly, staring him in the eye. It was so hard to do, but this was important. He felt his hands shake and he didn’t care. N looked at him, his blue eyes locking onto Black’s.  
        “I am looking.” N stated, unmoving.  
        “N, I love you. Will you be my boyfriend?” Black asked, his gaze locked onto N’s. N’s eyes widened, eyebrows rising.  
        “Yes…” He said slowly, his face flushing. He leaned closer to Black, his heart skipping a beat. Black’s hand went to one side of his face, holding it gently. “I love you too, Black.” He whispered, his eyes fluttering shut and pressing his lips against Black’s. Black melted into him, his hands on N’s cheeks. He pulled away for only a second, to rest his head on N’s shoulder and to scoot closer to him.

        N wrapped his arms around him, holding him close. N took off his cap and set it next to both of them, running a hand through his green hair. He slowly brought Black’s face up to his, kissing him again, and this time the kiss had a little more pressure. Black took the lead, slowly moving his lips against N’s.  
_Soft, warm, and so heavenly…_ Black thought as he kissed him, heart thumping. He pressed against N, causing him to lay on top of N. “H-Hehe...” He nervously laughed, nuzzling him. He could hear his heart racing, probably also embarrassed.  
        N held him closer, pressing his face into Black’s neck. _This is nice. I like this._ He thought, rubbing Black’s back. Black in response froze up slightly, not used to people touching there. “What are you...?” He trailed off, N now tracing up and down his crooked spine. He didn’t know how to feel.  
        “Hm, Black. I did get something for you.” N said, smiling into Black’s neck. He made a sound of puzzlement, leaning up to look at him. “Let me up so I can go get it.” N said, looking up at Black. His face was redder than before. Black slowly climbed off of him, his clothing sticking to him due to the body heat.

        N looked around for his gift to Black, checking his closet. He pulled out the small velvet box, containing the locket he got for him. He opened it, smiling softly. _I am sure he will like this... or at least I hope so._ He thought, staring at it. He stood up, closing the box carefully and tucking it into his shirt. He took the clothes he bought for Black, already neatly folded, and set them on the bed. He then set the cat keychain onto the folded clothing.  
        Black stared at his hands, and then touched his face. It was burning. He wondered what N got for him. He just rocked back and forth quietly, his head on his knees. He dozed off, his rocking coming to an end. N walked back into the room, noticing Black had fallen asleep. He set the clothes down next to him, setting the small velvet box on top. He then gently kissed Black’s cheek.

        “Hey, wake up.” He said softly, gently touching Black’s shoulder. _I am being awfully affectionate. I hope he doesn’t mind._ He thought, rubbing his chin. He slowly woke up to N holding his hand, and it didn’t exactly process that they were dating, so he looked very puzzled. A minute later, he realized they were dating and grinned. N nudged him, and gestured to the pile of things placed next to him. He looked confused, and then he gently took the box, opening it. _A pendant... for me?_ He wondered, looking at the other for confirmation. He smiled at him, so he took that as a yes.  
        “Thank you...” Black whispered, his pupils dilating. N gently held the other’s face, watching as he leaned against his hand. He pulled N closer, holding him tight. “I...“ Black was cut off by N’s lips, and he made a small happy sound. He loves kisses.


	6. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> One of Black's cats dies and he relapses.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [ Content Warnings: Cats, Kissing, Crying, Nudity mentions, Binding mentions ]  
> [ Trigger Warnings: Self Harm, Parents, PDA, Animal Death mentions, Sleep ]  
> [ Notes: Feel free to leave comments on what you think! It will help inspire me to write more. Critiques are also accepted, but please be gentle. ]

        One week later, the two were practically inseparable. They would text each other whenever they could, learning more about each other. N learned that Black’s parents were neglectful and hateful to him, and Black learned the same about N, save for the fact N only had one parent. N discovered some of Black’s many stims, including flapping, leg jiggling, fidgeting and more. N also discovered Black was learning French, using his pickup lines on him. ‘Tu es un mannequin?’ Black would ask while smirking. N would just look confused. Black had the tendency to now randomly info dump at N, while the latter listened to him ramble on and on about his newest special interest.

        One day, Black didn’t text N at all, which worried the latter. He tried texting, calling, leaving voicemails, until finally he decided to go find Black. After almost an hour of searching, he found Black sitting on the ground, shaking. His sleeves were bloody and his eyes were puffy and red.  
        “Black..?” He whispered, leaning close. “What happened?” Black only shook his head, curling into a small shaky ball. “Can I take you to my home?” He asked softly, tilting his head. The male nodded, a quiet sniffle escaping his tiny ball. N slowly picked him up, holding him close. “You’re going to be okay...” He said, stroking his hair slowly, feeling how soft it was. He felt a little upset at himself for not looking for him earlier, but he really didn’t want to scare Black. Black was shivering and nonverbal, his eyes watering.  
        N took him home, and set him down on a stool in the bathroom. He slowly took Black’s jacket off, staring at his arms. “I... did someone hurt you or..?” He asked softly. The other male just looked away.  N nodded, and then paused. “Uh... are you okay with me taking your shirt off?” he asked, unsure. Black nodded. N slowly moved forward, hands on the bottom hem of his shirt. He slowly pulled up, trying not to hurt him. Black was just blankly staring. N got him to the sink, washing his cut up arms. Black whimpered with pain, watching his nails dig into his palms to try and numb it. N gently kissed him, pausing. “We only have a little more to go, okay?” He said, nuzzling him.

        Black nodded, his gaze settling on N’s hands. He studied them carefully, watching as he scrubbed his wounds. N was so gentle and calm, it made him feel safe. He felt tears prickle his eyes and he gave up, beginning to cry again.  
        “Black... did something happen?” He asked quietly. Black bit his lip, trying not to cry. It was getting hard to breathe, and so he whispered “One of my cats died...” N nodded, kissing his hair.  
        “I’m sorry... Is there a way I can help?” He asked. The other shrugged. N looked at the sink again, trying to think. At least he was finished cleaning his arms. N held him close, rubbing his shoulders and back. “You should take your binder off, you shouldn’t wear it for this long.” N said, sounding like a concerned parent. Black shrugged. “I can do it for you, if you want.” N said, looking at him.

        “You would see me without anything on from the waist up though..” Black mumbled.  
        “…? Is there something wrong with that?” He asked. He really had no issue with seeing people nude. Black blushed meekly and nodded.  
        “Fine.. Just do it.” He tried to cover up his embarrassment.  N shrugged, sliding his binder off within three seconds. Black immediately covered his chest with his arms. N handed him a shirt, a hand over his eyes. He took the shirt, turning around. “You can look now.”  
        N opened his eyes and just stared. He found himself reaching forward to touch his back. He wanted to trace it again. Black’s eyes flickered to behind him, making N jump slightly. “Can I do something?” N asked. Black shrugged.

        “As long as you don’t hurt me.” Black said, looking at the wall in front of him. N leaned forward, kissing his spine near where it curved. “…!” Black jumped, squeaking and staring at N. He kissed his cheek, smiling. Black blushed even harder.  
        “Turn around.” He mumbled, clearly flustered by the kisses, holding N's shirt to his chest. N turned around, hands over his eyes as well. Black slipped on the shirt, embarrassed by how comfortable it was. He stepped behind N, and tapped his right shoulder, stepping to the left of him. N looked over at the right and saw nothing, and so Black took this moment to kiss him, aiming for his cheek. He missed and got his lips. N smirked, pressing Black into him as they kissed. Black felt so safe, standing in N’s arms, their lips pressed together.

        “I love you.” Black whispered after they pulled apart, burying his head into his shoulder. N whispered it back, holding him close and kissing him everywhere. They spent some time together, holding each other, before someone’s phone rang. N answered it, keeping an arm around his boyfriend.  
        “Hello?... Who is this?... … … No. No. Probably not. Bye.” N sighed softly as he hung up, sounding stressed out. Black tilted his head. “Nothing, that was my… parent.” He made a sour face, looking at his phone.  _I don’t care what you think, so called parent of mine. I love him..._ He kissed Black again, smiling.  _Love…_

        A day later, Black was sleeping in N’s bed, curled up next to the owner of the bed. He was sound asleep. That night was very long and very painful for Black. N was glad he felt better now, though. He would deal with his parent later. Black was clinging to N. He never guessed that Black would be a cuddler. He also never would have guessed that he would fall in love with him so hard. He watched him sleep peacefully, twirling a lock of soft brown hair in his fingers. He wondered why he hurt so much... and he also wondered why Black trusted him.


	7. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [ Content Warnings: Kissing, Paranoia, Anxiety, Temporary Amnesia, Crying ]  
> [ Trigger Warnings: Blood, Violence, Stabbing, Impalement, Sharp Objects (Knives), Death, Fathers mention, Parents mention ]  
> [ Notes: This gets pretty heavy. ]

        Suddenly, his ears rang. He slowly got out of bed, stumbling to the bathroom, holding his head. “Augh. Stop it...” He mumbled to himself, trying to avoid the flashbacks. “No... No stop.” He whispered, slumping to his knees. Black woke up, confused. He stood up and made his way to the bathroom, carefully opening the door.  
        “N..?” He said, his voice cracking. N looked up, eyes full of fear. Black held his hand out to him, and N flinched, slapping it away. Black nodded, sitting down in front of him. N just turned around, back to Black. “I’m here f-for you.” Black mumbled, his voice not working. N was shaking and covering his head, whimpering. “You are okay, nobody can hurt you.” Black said softly, looking at the bandages on his arms.

        “Wh-Who are you..?” N whispered, voice trembling.  
        “My name is Black. I’m your boyfriend, I’m trans, and I am mentally ill. I’m as old as you.” Black answered, remaining calm.  
        “Black... Black.” He repeated, thinking about the name. “Black…” N’s voice was soft.

        “May I touch you?” He asked. N nodded. _I want kisses from him…_ N thought, watching Black scoot up to him. Black put his arms around him, rubbing his shoulders and kissing his cheeks. “I know I can’t offer you much, I’m sorry. I still love you.”

        After a while, N whispered “Kisses…” Black kissed his cheeks, his nose, his eyes, his forehead, and then his lips. N melted, calming down efficiently. He kissed Black back, parting his lips. Black noticed this, and parted his as well. N slipped his tongue inside and Black shivered, pressing into him. He played with Black’s tongue, rubbing against it with his own, causing Black to twitch. They pulled apart slowly, panting, faces both burning red. He got embarrassed and buried his face into N’s chest.   
        N held him, nuzzling into his hair. “You are very cute.” He said, finally calm enough to speak. N’s phone rang again, and he sighed. “I’ll be right back...” he said as he slowly got up, walking out to the living room to answer his phone. Black waited patiently, tapping the floor. He could see N pacing back and forth, running a hand through his bangs, looking stressed out.

        He watched N become increasingly more agitated, gesturing, his voice becoming louder. _Is he crying?_ He asked himself, trying to get a better look. He was crying. Black tried to listen but he wasn’t close enough, and so he just watched the whole ordeal. N just slumped to the floor, head hanging. He looked so tired, so exhausted. Black wanted to help him, but he didn’t know how.  
        After some time, N slowly got up, limbs dangling as if he were a puppet. Black stood up immediately, and N looked at him with a blank stare.  
        “What are you doing?” N asked, his voice sounding flat and tired.

        “I am worried.” Black replied, sounding shaky. He saw a dark figure in the doorway, and his eyes widened. “N… The door...” He whispered. He could feel a panic attack bubble up slowly, heart thobbing.  
        N looked at the doorway, and froze, looking terrified. “I…” he trailed off, hearing a thump. Black was frozen, remembering that nightmare. Just as the dark figure broke open the door, he had grabbed N’s hand and kicked down the back door. “Run! Fucking run N, please just _go_.” He yelled, and with no choice, N ran off. Black stared at the dark figure in the kitchen. A mask and hood?

        The figure pulled the mask off and lowered the hood, revealing a red eye and green hair tied into a bun. “Wh...” Black didn’t finish his sentence, the figure staring at him. His eyes darted to whatever the figure was holding. A knife. _Oh fuck._  
        “I heard you were dating my son.” The figure snarled, teeth barred. Black glared at him.  
        “Who are you? Why are you here?” Black snapped, his heart racing.

        “I’m here to get rid of the pest. You.” He grinned, holding his knife up. Black dashed off, running as fast as he could. He was terrified. He knew he couldn’t run far. _N I’m so sorry I love you I’m so sorry..._ He repeated in his head, tears running down his face. He turned to look behind him and that’s when he felt the knife embed into his leg. He yelled in agony, falling forwards. He looked at the knife stuck in his leg and then looked at N’s father.  
        “Something wrong, pest?” He grinned. Black spit blood, grabbing the handle of the knife which was slick with dark blood, and pulling it out of his leg. Pain coursed through his entire body, everything throbbed, especially his head. He could feel that his spine wasn’t supposed to move that way, and didn’t care.

        “Fuck off.” He whispered coarsely, leaning on a pole, with a bloodied knife in his other hand. The dark figure went after him, so he ducked, holding the knife out. The figure yelled, feeling the knife enter their stomach Black’s vision blurred from the blood and sudden movement. He had a small amount of energy left, so he took the knife out and stabbed him again. What he didn’t know was that the figure carried more than one knife.  
        “HckFUCK!” Black cried out, collapsing. He weakly held the knife, his vision blurred even worse than before. He coughed up thick blood, and then felt someone else’s familiar hand take the knife out of his hand. “… N?” He slurred, his vision blurry. There was a spurt of blood, and then the ting of dropped metal. He watched as N turned to face him, and he smiled, tears running down his face. “H-Hey..”

        N tried not to show emotions. He had to be strong for his boyfriend, so he shoved all of his emotions back and took a deep breath. He leaned down, examining Black for a moment, trying to piece everything together. After a moment he realized what happened.  
        N picked him up, carrying him to the hospital, moving swiftly. “N..?” He coughed, frowning at the red on his hands. N looked at him, biting his lip. His eyes were glassy looking, and that’s when he realized N was about to cry. “I-I’m okay…” he smiled at N, watching tears fall. “It’s okay… You’re safe now…” He whispered. N smiled weakly, pressing a kiss to his lips.


	8. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> N and Black do the dirty.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [ Content Warnings: Nudity, NSFW ]  
> [ Trigger Warnings: Hospitals, Medical, Food mentions, Leg injuries mention, Stomach injuries mention, Stabbing mention, Sex ]

        A week later, Black is sitting in the hospital, recovering. He was stabbed three times, once in the leg, once in the hip and once in the gut. The doctors were surprised he lasted that long, and he would only shrug at the question of how. N visited him every day, bringing flowers, kisses, and good food, since hospital food wasn't exactly appetizing or filling.

        “N?” Black said, watching N braid his long green hair.  
        “Yes, Black?” He replied, not looking up as he was busy with his hair.  
        “I love you.” Black smiled, leaning over and tapping his shoulder. N turned to look at him, and then he grinned.  
        “I love you too.” He purred, a soft blush spreading across his cheeks. Black rolled over, feeling tired again. His entire body ached and sometimes the pain was unbearable. He was lucky the knife didn't hit any nerves, or he would be screwed over. He was supposed to be in the hospital for at least two months, just to make sure everything healed up okay. Thankfully, he wasn't in any legal trouble due to the fact N’s father went after him first and stabbed him. He cringed at the memory.  
        N slowly petted him, a thumb rubbing Black’s cheek rhythmically. “Can we cuddle?” Black asked, his face flushing red. N nodded, moving to the other side of the bed and lying down next to Black, wrapping an arm around him gently. He kissed his cheek gently, lips barely moving across his skin. Black began to doze off, finally feeling safe and warm with his boyfriend holding him so close. _How is he so warm? Is it because he is loved?_ He wondered, snuggling closer to him carefully.

        The next time N visit, it was 2 days later. The reason he was so late was because he had to do shopping again. This time, however, he brought chocolate. The nurses didn’t like the idea, but didn't seem to care. Black pulled the covers off of him, slowly turning to move his legs off the bed. N walked over to him. “Do you need help?” He asked, watching Black make a very hesitant expression, and then nodding. He gently held Black’s hands, leading him. After a couple of minutes, Black was standing in place, leaning against N and practically clinging to him. N held him tight, whispering about how proud he was and how much he loved him.  
        For the next week, they would do the same thing, slowly getting Black to stand up and maybe even take a couple of steps, not wanting to overexert him. He was still pale looking, from not going outside and from his poor physical health. He also had trouble sleeping often, and could only get some sleep when he napped with N. His arms were slowly healing, and N would kiss them every so often. “It’s to make it not hurt.” N said when asked why he did it. N was too cute for his own good sometimes. Black loved every second of it though.

        After another week, Black could move, but only a little. The nurses were a little confused, expecting him to not recover as quickly, but still shrugged it off. Black wasn't allowed to have a phone, computer or television, so the only socialization he received was from N, which was plenty for him. Time felt like it was taking forever to pass, seconds seeming to turn into hours. He just wanted to be out of the hospital.  
        A full month later, he was finally let out. He was pale, thing and had a slight limp from the recurring pain of where he was stabbed, but otherwise he fine. He walked up to N, hugging him tightly and kissing him. Wearing normal clothes was sensory hell after getting used to the hospital gown, but at the moment he was more wanting to kiss N and hold him. N walked with him home, picking him up halfway there and carrying him. He slightly frowned. Black was lighter than before. Black didn't notice, since he fell asleep. N laid him down on his bed, and upon being laid down, he woke up.

        Black pulled him close, kissing him. N was surprised, but slowly melted into his touch. N climbed on top of him, hands tangling into his fluffy brown hair, moving his lips against the other’s. N pulled away, pressing gentle kisses down his cheeks and jawline, while the other placed his hands on N’s hips. Black gasped sharply, feeling N press a warm kiss to his neck, his face burning hotly. N smirked against his skin, and pulled away to look at him. “Aww. You look cute.” He said slyly as the other glared at him, embarrassed.  
        Black moved his hands to N’s shoulders, wrapping his legs around his hips slowly. N went back to kissing at his neck, making him pant softly, hands tangling into his hair. N sucked on his neck lightly, making him moan, to which N smirked at. He looked down at him; the other’s face a scarlet red. He put one hand on his waist and the other on his cheek. “Do you want to do this?” He asked, stroking his face.

        Black thought about it, and then said, “Nothing penetrative, if that’s okay.”, with a reddened face. N nodded, leaning down to suck at his neck some. He panted again, a knot in his stomach forming. N slowly rubbed his side with one hand, sucking and nipping his neck. Black grinded against him needily, a low moan rising in the back of his throat. N grinded back, feeling his pants tighten. N pulled away to take his own shirt off, tossing it somewhere else. Black just stared at his chest, moving to touch it. “Holy shit.” Black looked at him, up and down, mesmerized. “N what the fuck.” He whispered, pulling N down to hold him closer. N laughed softly.  
        “What is it?” N asked, clearly amused. Black mumbled something into his neck, and proceeded to kiss him there, making N shiver. He grinded against him, kissing his neck repeatedly, until he paused to say something.

        “N, I think I want to go all the way..” He murmured, watching N pull back a little.  
        “I will be careful with you.” N said, smiling. “I love you.”  
        “I love you too..” He whispered, moving his hand to touch N’s face. N held it, and then leaned forward to kiss him, their hands relaxing at their side. He parted his lips, and Black played with his tongue, eagerly grinding against him. N nudged the hem of Black’s shirt, slowly pulling it up. He pulled away from the heated kiss to lift it over his shoulders, leaning back down to kiss and suck at his neck again, being a little rougher this time. “H-hhah..” Black whispered, running his nails down N’s back. N leaned on one arm, using his free hand to unzip his pants, the other moving his legs a little to help him. N tossed his pants in the growing pile of clothing. Black couldn't help but look, and shivered. He was bigger than expected. N noticed and smirked at him, and slowly grinded against him, watching him shudder and gasp.


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sex and cuddles.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [ Content Warnings: PDA ]  
> [ Trigger Warnings: Sex ]  
> [ Notes: This is probably the end of the fic, since I am planning another. I might update later, I might not. ]

        “H-Hff. Y-You’re..” Black trailed off, too embarrassed to finish his sentence. N untangled Black’s legs and swiftly pulled his pants off, grinning. Black squeaked, covering his face. N slowly rubbed in between Black’s thighs, making Black moan and shiver. “T-Touch me more.” He stuttered, his tone full of lust. N dragged his finger up his boxers, trying to feel where his clit is. After Black took a sharp intake of breath, N had found his clit, and slowly pressed into it. Black whimpered, trying to grind against his finger. N moved to pull Black’s boxers off, tossing them into the pile.  
        He paused, leaning over to dig through his end table drawer. He finally found a condom, and placed it on Black’s forehead. “Hold this.” Black tried not to giggle, and put the condom on his stomach. His giggle was effectively stopped when he watched N pull his boxers off. He didn’t even make a sound, and just bit his lip.  
        “Your- Th-That’s uh- You’re big.” He stuttered out, his voice quiet. He covered his face, thoroughly embarrassed. N looked at him, and just turned red. Black uncovered his face, and then looked at N’s hand. He took it, and kissed the tip of his finger. “I know some things..” He muttered, suckling the tip of his finger. N realized what he was doing, and leaned down, sticking his finger in his mouth so Black could suck on it. N moaned quietly, wondering how it would feel if he sucked on his penis instead. N pushed another finger into his mouth, and Black made a noise of embarrassment. He felt Black’s tongue swirl around his fingers, and shuddered, his free hand clenching the sheets. He finally pulled out his fingers, watching the spit drip from them.

        He took his spit covered fingers and rubbed them up and down Black’s inner labia, trying to get him slick before doing anything. The last thing he wanted was for it to hurt. He pushed a finger in and Black gasped softly. He was already surprisingly loose from arousal, and so he pushed in another finger. He rubbed against his walls, trying to find that one spot. He couldn’t find it, which he expected, and so he pulled both fingers out and sucked them clean, wiping whatever was left on the sheets. He grabbed the condom, and Black took it from him, taking it out of the wrapper and pinching the tip. N watched as he rolled the condom on, his fingers cold against his shaft.  
        Black looked up at him, giving a little nod. N shifted a little, holding the tip of his penis at his entrance, and slowly pushed in. His other hand was on his hip, trying to feel when he should stop. About halfway in, Black’s muscles clenched, and so he stopped. “Are you okay?” He asked, rubbing his hip. Black nodded.

        “It hurts a little, just.. Move slowly.” He muttered, his fingers tangled into the sheets. He felt his groin throb with lust, and he shuddered. N slowly thrust into him, feeling his walls throb around him, shivering with how hot he was. Black soon relaxed, and N pushed all the way into him. “H-Hahh… P-Please move some more..” Black whispered, eyelashes fluttering, his face reddened. N continued pushing into him, slowly thrusting faster, eyes shut. Once he got to a good pace, he held onto Black’s hips, leaning forward to kiss his neck, murmuring dirty things into his ear. “F-Fuck aaahhh..” Black moaned breathily, “F-Faster..”  
        N thrusted into him a bit faster, biting his neck. “I-I’m close..” He mumbled, his voice sounding a little hoarse. Black moaned, feeling himself get so close. His thighs and legs trembled slightly, pleasure radiating through him. “H-Hhh.. Black!” N gasped, ejaculating hard, his muscles seizing up just as Black orgasmed. The latter was much quieter, instead of crying out he held onto N, burying his face into him and whispering "W-What's better than t-this... Guys being d-dudes?".

        After a minute or two, N’s muscles relaxed, and laid on Black. Black slowly petted him, kissing his hair. “I love you.” N purred, pulling out of Black slowly and taking off the now used condom, tossing it into the trashcan next to his bed.  
        “I love you too.” Black replied, watching as N grabbed their underwear and shirts. N smirked as he put on Black’s shirt. He looked embarrassed, putting on the other’s shirt. It was comfortable, and he then slipped on his own boxers, feeling tired but warm. N did the same, laying on top of his boyfriend, kissing his nose.

        They cuddled after changing positions a bit, both laying on their sides in blissful silence. Black would play with N’s hair, twirling it around his finger and braiding strands of it. N would absent-mindedly run his fingers down Black’s spine, which sometimes made Black jump a little. While N seemed to be in deep thought, Black would study his eyes and face, his heart thumping. _How are you so perfect? Your eyes are so beautiful.._ He thought, moving a hand to N’s cheek which caught his attention.  
        “N.. I love you so much.” He said softly, smiling. N leaned forward and kissed him, his long delicate fingers tangling into the other’s hair. Black smiled in the kiss, noticing how N’s hair was practically a natural blanket. After N pulled away, Black buried his face into N’s chest, feeling the warmth he gave off. N wrapped his arms around him, holding him close.

        “I love you too Black.” He said, kissing his hair. “Please do not ever get yourself hurt again.. Okay?” He asked, stroking his hair and back slowly, his other arm tight around him. Black felt a little more tense, surprised. “I know you were protecting me but.. You don’t deserve to be in pain.” He finished, tangling his legs into Black’s.  
        “You don’t either..” Black said, looking up at him. N looked confused. “I know you hurt sometimes.. It’s okay. You can tell me, and I will help you..” He continued, stroking his cheek slowly. “You get quiet and your eyes become downcast and you twiddle your fingers slowly. I want to see you happy..” He trailed off, holding N tightly against him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [ Thank you for reading this! This was basically a warm up for writing, so thank you for putting up with it! I will be going back and editing the chapters soonish. ]


End file.
